AdultFriendFinder Blog

So what’s the stimulus causing attraction? Most guys think it has to do with buying gifts and dinner and giving her compliments. It doesn’t. Unless you know what does work, you better hope to either win the lottery, become famous or befriend a good plastic surgeon.

Pound this into your memory: you can’t buy a woman’s attraction with gifts, dinners and compliments. Ever.

Here’s the good news: If you haven’t been so successful with women lately, it’s not because your some freak of nature, or because women can’t find you attractive. You’ve just simply be following the wrong map. You’ve been operating on ideals and beliefs given to you by your parents, society, religion and even your well meaning friends.

Know this – every man is born with the gift to sexually attract women. It’s part of our survival mechanism. However, through all the layers of social programming… we have buried that gift. Stymied its growth. As a result, we now are clueless when it comes to the art of attraction.

As a dating coach, I’ve seen my fair share of this. The good news is it’s not too hard to bring it back to the surface. You simply need to reacquaint yourself with how attraction actually works. You need a better map.

The first thing you need to know about attraction – keep your power.

Women hate weak men. Yet men always act like wussies around women they wish to date. Kissing up does not equal power.

Rule number one in attraction – don’t give up your power. This means when you ask a woman out, don’t say, “Where would you like to go.” She’ll reply, “Oh, I don’t care… wherever is fine.” And you come back with, “No seriously. Where would you like to go?” Ugh.

Come closer: the one with the most power is the leader. Remember touching a hot stove is the stimulus for pain? Well, when a women becomes the leader… as far as attraction goes… it’s a stimulus for instant turn off. Zap! It’s gone.

Men give up more power with one single dating blunder than any other – Dinner on the first date.

This sends a subtle message to a woman: I don’t have enough power so I must bribe you with dinner in hopes you feel attraction for me.

And worse… by paying for the first date, you have set the tone of your relationship with her… You are now a Provider. Good look with that one.

So how do you change this? Most men who first learn about the real art of attraction do this: They say to a woman… “Let me take you to dinner.” When the check comes, the man tries to reverse the table. He eyes the bill. Then eyes her. She gets the hint. She pays the bill. And zap! The attraction is gone.

Why? Hey, you were the one who asked her to dinner. It’s like going to the video store and renting the movie. When you bring it up to the counter, you’re the one who is expected to pay. When you ask a woman out a date, you’re the one who is expected to pay.

You’re map is messed up. There is nothing that says you have to take a woman to dinner on the first date. It’s actually probably the worst thing you can do, if you want her to feel attracted to you.

If you’re interested in becoming more successful with women… and you’ve been unsuccessful… you must build a better map. And you start with learning how attraction works, and what stimulus you need to use to trigger it in women (hint, it’s not manipulating her with gifts and compliments).

Once you understand this, you will be able to go from one step to another with women. From how to approach them, to where to take them for the crucial first date.

So get to work on your new map… today! Kurt Dight has created a free 5 day mini course in “how to seduce any women”. It is available for instant access only for a limited time at http://www.dating-secrets2.com/